The Sugar Mountain Conquest
by Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus
Summary: Waluigi and Popo go on a colorful adventure to a mountain full of sugar!
1. Chapter 1

**The Sugar Mountain Conquest**

**By Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus**

Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: Well, yeah, I became bored, so I decided to make some random fanfic with Waluigi and Popo in it. Because Waluigi is win, and must be in every single little thing I do. So deal with it. Anyway, enjoy.

Disclaimer: Waluigi, Popo, and anything else in this story belong to Nintendo.

* * *

"This is going to be stupid," Waluigi admitted as he folded his arms, shaking his head. "You positive that you're going to be fine, kid?"

Popo laughed as he placed his left hand on his chest, giggling at Waluigi. "Oh, Mr. Waluigi, I'm only just a young energetic eskimo!" He rubbed his hands together as he looked at the roof of the Super Smash Brothers Mansion. "I'm going to dive from the roof! Just watch me!" He then dashed towards the mansion, climbing from the right side of the mansion.

Waluigi rolled his eyes as he muttered quietly to himself, "He's going to lose more brain cells doing this stunt than watching a porn video."

A few minutes later, Waluigi watched as Popo fell several stories down from the rooftop of the Super Smash Brothers Mansion, landing on his stomach. Waluigi rolled his eyes as Popo got up, rubbing his stomach in pain as he walked up to Waluigi.

"Case in point, I was proved right," Waluigi admitted as he chuckled a bit, approaching the wounded Popo.

Popo whimpered as his entire body was limp, his left foot twitching. "Owww... Waluigi, I think I impaled something..." He muttered in pain as he spat out a tooth, rubbing his right cheek.

Waluigi folded his arms as he rolled his eyes, knocking Popo on the head. "Of course you impaled something. You just fell from the top of a roof, stupid!" He snapped as he glanced down at Popo.

Popo frowned as he placed both of his hands behind his back. "Well... uhh... gee, what do you want to do, Waluigi?" He asked as he made a cutesy face, looking up at Waluigi as he giggled.

Waluigi sighed as he scratched his head, stating to Popo, "Well, I guess we could go find some treasure, or something..."

"GREAT!" Popo exclaimed as he grabbed Waluigi's hands, running off towards the western direction as Waluigi screamed, being hauled off his feet as Popo dashed fast.

Later, the blue polka-wearing eskimo and the tall, lanky man were both at the base of a sugary pink mountain filled with sweets. Popo clapped his hands together with glee as he wondered how they were going to climb up, while Waluigi sighed, noticing the huge size of the mountain. Suddenly, Popo pulled Waluigi's left arm, pointing at the very top of the mountain.

"Climbing this thing will be a piece of cake!" Popo stated as he winked at Waluigi, licking his lips as he mumbled. "Mmm... cake..." He rubbed his stomach as he gurgled, drool coming out from his mouth as he approached the entrance into the sweet mountain.

Waluigi shouted out at Popo, running after the blue young boy eskimo as he entered into the mountain. Upon entering the mountain, several bluish candy bats came down swooping around Waluigi, causing Waluigi to smack them away with his hands as Popo started climbing on a pile of sugar. Waluigi groaned as he ran after Popo, climbing up slowly on the pile of sugar.

"Hey kid, slow down, will ya?" Waluigi shouted as the sugar went through his palms, causing Waluigi to act fast as he climbed higher and higher.

Popo giggled as he glanced back down at Waluigi, taunting him to catch up. "Come on, Waluigi! Climbing this is like kindergarten! You gotta step it up!"

Waluigi gritted his teeth as he slammed his fist into the sugar mount. "I'll step you up..." He muttered angrily under his breath as he pounded against the sugar mound faster and faster, eventually reaching Popo. However, Popo already managed to reach the top, and was eager of continuing onwards.

"Now where could..." Popo observed the area around him, gasping as he snapped his fingers. "Of course! That's it!" He swung his mallet around, jumping into the air as he yelled out, hovering above in the air using his mallet's swings.

Waluigi slapped his face as he reached the top, being forced to chase Popo further. He formed his purple Waluigi Tornado, using his attack to follow Popo upward into a chocolate-paved path carved from the interior walls of the sugary mountain, running around the base as he chased Popo, who was dashing farther ahead of Waluigi. Popo continued shouting back at Waluigi, who fumed as he dashed upwards and upwards, until finally, both of the humans reached the top of the sugary mountain. Waluigi strangled Popo, who managed to easily escape his grasp.

"Look, Waluigi!" Popo exclaimed as he took a good look around, seeing the pinkish mounts of sugar everywhere as he sighed, "It's so... beautiful..."

Waluigi grumbled as he folded his arms, shuddering with disgust as he grumbled, "Bleh. It makes me want to hurl."

Popo gasped, covering his mouth with his left hand as he turned around, facing Waluigi. "Waluigi, how could you say something like that!" He shouted in shock as he pointed at Waluigi, moving his hands as he explained in a calm tone, "The purity of innocence is very well presented within this mountain, and all of the delicious sugary goodness is just waiting to be tickled upon entering our rumbly tummies..." He placed his hands together as he made big puppy-like eyes, sniffling. "Waluigi, you can't appreciate why kids can see Cinnamon Toast Crunch?"

Waluigi narrowed his eyes as he glared at Popo, obviously not amused. "Now you're going to throw old, crappy memes at me?" He retorted as he shook his head, turning around and heading to the right. "That's it. I'm heading back to the mansion. Forget this."

"No, Waluigi! Please!" Popo cried out as he grabbed Waluigi by the arm, tugging him back. "I can make it all up... I promise..." He whimpered as he sniffled, looking up at Waluigi.

Waluigi turned around, pulling his left arm away from Popo as he pointed at him, demanding an answer. "You promise?" He asked as he narrowed his eyes at Popo.

Popo placed both of his hands behind his back as he moved his left foot, slightly blushing. "Uh huh. Cross my innocent heart, my endearing determination, and my gassy stomach."

"...Fine. But only because you're so darn cute." Waluigi admitted as he folded his arms, sighing as he shook his head, walking forward.

Popo jumped up for joy, giggling with glee as he clapped his hands together. "Tee hee! I knew you'd come to agree-"

"But don't you dare fart anywhere near me. Got it?" Waluigi suddenly warned as he picked up Popo by the collar, dropping him on the ground.

"Well... I can't promise that..." Popo admitted as he rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, blushing as he saw Waluigi heading upward on the path, running right after him. "Waluigi, wait! Don't leave me behind!"


	2. Chapter 2

Waluigi and Popo were already halfway through interior of the sugary pink mountain, with Popo eagerly keeping up his spirits as Waluigi led. With Waluigi fending off several Primids and Dino Wrenches away, Popo occasionally popped his head in front of Waluigi, often asking a particular question.

"Hey Waluigi, can we get some ice cream?" Popo asked cutely.

"No." Waluigi flatly replied.

"Hey Waluigi, can I take some candy with us?" Popo asked cutely.

"No." Waluigi flatly remarked.

"Hey Waluigi, do you know that honey nut cheerios tastes good with chocolate milk dyed in fabric softener?" Popo asked cutely.

"No, and that is beyond stupid." Waluigi retorted.

Several more feet deeper into the sugar coated mountain...

"Hey Waluigi, can-"

"No."

"You didn't let me finish."

"Fine."

"Can I take a poop in your pockets?"

"No, and for even considering it, I'm going to give you an atomic wedgie."

"An atomic wha... wait, Waluigi, what are you doing... no! Not that, please! AIE!"

Popo squealed as he felt his pink-colored underwear pulled from right under his blue parka, being smacked back as Waluigi dusted his hands. Rubbing his butt as he tucked his underwear back in, Popo groaned as he felt the pain linger for several minutes. Suddenly, just as Waluigi and Popo were heading up a green-tilted pole, Popo curiously blurted out, "So, Waluigi, how far do you think we could go?"

Waluigi sighed as he shrugged, still climbing upwards. "It may takes hours, days, weeks, months. Maybe even years, depending on how big this mountain is." Was what he could offer back to Popo, not really thinking much of a good answer.

Popo rubbed the back of his head as he extended his left arm. "But Waluigi, we have at least one thousand words to go by! It shouldn't be that long!"

Waluigi sighed as he glanced back down at Popo, "And to begin with, writing at least one thousand words isn't as easy at it sounds."

Popo blinked in astonishment as he gasped, covering his mouth with his right hand. "Y-y-you mean it's not, Waluigi?"

Waluigi simply shook his head as he pounded Popo on the head. "No, it's not. Now let's stop wasting away the word count and just continue on our sugary adventure!" He sighed as he dragged Popo behind him, who continued giggling like a young schoolgirl.

Later, Waluigi and Popo braved flesh eating toasters, punching bags that could actually punch, mutant bowling bowls that emitted poison from their holes, and several more odd sights within the pinkish candy mountain's interior. Waluigi was relieved as their journey was reaching a close, with Popo taking in every minute as he could.

"We're... almost... at the top..." Waluigi huffed and puffed as he wiped his forehead, seeing the exit nearby as he smiled. "Finally... we're almost there... this journey is over..."

Popo, however, was overexcited, jumping up and down in joy. "Yippie! I can already taste the sugary goodness in my belly!" He exclaimed as he cheered loudly.

Waluigi turned around, placing his hands on his hips as he stared at Popo strangely. "Are you sure you're feeling okay, kid?" He asked, knowing that Popo was a little off.

Popo frowned as he rubbed his stomach. "Actually, I'm a little gassy." He admitted as he blinked.

"...And that's my cue to take leave." Waluigi implied as he rolled his eyes, heading up farther as he wanted the adventure to be done and over with.

"Wait, Waluigi, please! I was just kidding about-" Before Popo could apologize, he crashed into a tall grayish safe, being knocked out cold.

Waluigi sighed as he rolled his eyes. "Come on, kid, don't be leaving me hangi-" He turned around, seeing that Popo was not behind him. "Kid? Hey, where are you, eskimo boy?"

Waluigi headed back, to see that Popo was out cold. He slapped his face as he gave some CPR to Popo, reviving the young eskimo boy. Popo screamed as he spat out in disgust, rubbing his mouth as he turned around, to see Waluigi, who simply folded his arms.

"Waluigi, you saved me!" Popo exclaimed with glee as he tightly hugged Waluigi, cooing as he closed his eyes with delight.

Waluigi growled as he tried pulling Popo off, not being successful in doing so. "Urgh. Let's just get back on track on why we're here in the first place..." He dragged Popo out of the interior of the mountain, walking around the vanilla edge that stuck out of the pink-colored sugary mountain. Upon reaching the top, both Waluigi and Popo noticed something particular about the mountain's cap.

"Hey, it's much smaller than I thought..." Popo admitted as he let go of Waluigi, bending down and looking at the inside of the mountain, seeing all sorts of sugary sweets, from pastries to candies to cakes. He turned to Waluigi, giggling as he clapped his hands together, "Let's go diving inside!"

Waluigi folded his arms as he shook his head in disagreement. "I don't know, Popo. It seems too innocent to-" Before he could finish, both he and Popo were pushed into the hole, the two falling into a pile of pink sugar as the top covered up by a yellowish tarp.


	3. Chapter 3

Waluigi moaned weakly as he opened his eyes, smacking his lips together as he looked down, to see that he was roped. Next to him by his left was Popo, who was still out cold as he was, too, tied. The two characters were tied to the chocolate interior walls of the sugary mountain, a dark shadow appearing as it chuckled deeply.

"Wha... where are we?" Waluigi asked as the dark shadow leapt towards them, chuckling evilly. "And who the hell are you?"

"Welcome... to YOUR ULTIMATELY ULTIMATERY ULTIMATORY ULTIMATE DOOM DOOMY DOOMINISH DOOMERY DOOMINY DOOMINIX DOOMINATERY DOOMINOY DOOM OF DOOM!" The dark shadow announced as he revealed his true form... Toon Link. "And now that you're here, I can tickle you for all its worth! Tee hee hee hee!"

Waluigi eyed Toon Link oddly. "Wait a minute, YOU'RE the bad guy who tied us?" He asked in disbelief.

Toon Link laughed evilly as he placed his hands on his stomach, telling Waluigi as he pointed at the tall lanky man, "I simply wanted to do something cruel for once in my happy go lucky life, so I pushed you and Popo down the hole..." He touched his fingertips as he giggled. "And now that you're in here... we can waste two thousand words on absolutely nothing!"

Waluigi continued eyeing Toon Link bizarrely. "Wait... wasting the word count?" He tilted his head to the right in confusion. "Isn't that... the stupidest thing any respected author could do?"

Toon Link gulped as sweat started coming down his head. "Uhh... well..." He nervously chuckled as he sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. "I couldn't honestly think of anything else to do, so I was thinking of-"

"Wasting the word count. Way to go, genius." Waluigi flatly taunted as he rolled his eyes.

Toon Link started stuttering nervously. "H-h-hey! We're only just barely three hundred words into this chapter! You can't just go and dismiss this very important event!" He blabbered as he flailed his arms.

Waluigi sighed as he continued struggling to move within the ropes. "Yeah, but if you want to excite the readers, you should have something interesting." He glanced at Popo, who was still out cold. "Plus, if the author honestly doesn't feel like writing, he should just give up and go do something else."

"Like play video games," Toon Link suggested as he smiled, letting out a silent but deadly fart.

"Or go out into the sunlight and get some fresh air," Waluigi added as he smugly smirked.

A few seconds of awkward silence occurred as Toon Link coughed, rubbing the back of his neck.

"So... uhhh..." Toon Link started as he looked around, "Want some candy?"

"...Candy?" Popo randomly stated as he opened his eyes, blinking as he looked down, to see that was he tied to the walls, and then glanced to his left at Waluigi, seeing him tied as well. He then looked forward, seeing Toon Link. He gasped as he proclaimed, "Wait a minute! Toon Link! What are you doing here!"

Toon Link giggled as he rubbed his hands together. "Teehee! I'm now evil! Couldn't you tell!" He proclaimed as he posed sexually.

Popo blinked in astonishment as he felt a strange sensation... in his pants. "Umm... I feel wet... and stiff..." He mumbled as he slightly blushed.

Waluigi felt like face palming himself as he struggled to get his left hand out. "Ugh, Popo, why are you getting a boner from Toon Link? He's a boy!"

Popo quickly realized this fact, and he blushed even more. "Wow... that makes this situation... very awkward..."

Toon Link was in complete dismay as his arms were pointed down straight, in complete shock from Popo getting aroused about him. "Popo... got a boner... from me...!" He proceeded to giggle like an innocent schoolgirl as he started skipping towards the east. "Well, quite frankly, I make a cute girl if you think about it-"

"Come on, why won't this break?" Waluigi growled as he continued having problems with the rope. He closed his eyes as he tried performing his Waluigi Tornado, eventually breaking out of the rope as he also broke Popo out from his ropes. Halting his spinning, Waluigi fell on his two feet as he heroically posed, running after Toon Link and beating up the young boy.

"Well... this stinks." Toon Link admitted as he gulped, his entire body trembling with fright.

Popo nodded as he folded his arms, approaching Toon Link as he smirked. "It sure does, doesn't it?"

Toon Link glanced to the left and right, before looking back at Popo and Waluigi. "Well, I would love to stay and chat, but..." He turned around and dashed as fast as he could. "GOTTA RUN!" He then crashed into a pile of pinkish sugar.

Popo and Waluigi both glanced at each other as Toon Link groaned weakly in pain.

"Well... this sure seems like a pickle of a problem," Popo stated as he wrapped his shoulders behind his back, whistling innocently.

Waluigi nodded as he rubbed his chin. "Indeed you are right, Popo. Now... let's get out of here..." He started climbing the interior wall to the north, with Popo gathering as much sugar as he could.

Several long minutes of climbing out of the interior of the sugary mountain later, an exhausted Waluigi and Popo made it to the very top, overlooking the western direction as they tried catching their breath. Popo apparently had a bit too much candy from the mountain, as he acted a tad different than usual.

"We barely reached two thousand words for this chapter..." Popo commented as he placed his hands on his kneecaps, gasping for breath as he wiped his face with his left elbow.

Waluigi adjusted his traditional purple-colored cap as he stretched his long, lanky arms in the air. "It doesn't matter, Popo. We already finished our adventure by the time the previous chapter ended." He pointed out as he looked up at the clear blue sky, the sun shining brightly down on them and the sugary mountain.

Popo gasped as he glanced at Waluigi, placing his hands together as he had cutesy puppy eyes. "R-really?" He whimpered cheerfully as his eyes wobbled.

Waluigi stared blankly at Popo, sighing as he shook his head, closing his eyes. "Yes, really. Now... all we need to do is find out how we're going to get back to the Super Smash Brothers Mansion."

Popo wondered deeply as he folded his arms, shaking his head as he wondered about something. He then snapped his fingers as he smiled, turning to face Waluigi. "Well, I suggest that we take a left turn down towards the mountain, then head into the jungles nearby and fight off the evil mutant bananas, then take a boat into the wide open sky and grab some fluffy clouds for our arousing pleasure, then we trap several hippos in a container filled with lotsa spaghetti, then we pour red hot sauce on your stomachs and slide all around the meadows, drop several bombs on the lamp oil that are constantly groping the rope, attempt an oil spill all over Termina Bay, reach the resevior with rocket fueled jet skis, bring it on as we go for the silver, let's have some fun as this should be fun, naturally snatch yatchs planted, separate the yellow blocks from the red, green, and blue blocks, try to pathetically increasethe word count so we can rush this chapter out of the door and end this random one-shot fanfic even though it has more than one chapter in it, try and make our readers lose a false sense of security, advertise our products everywhere so we get a million hits regardless of the quality, think of something better to say rather than blabbering this out for no apparant reason, and finally, we eat a lot of car gasoline and use it to fart to fly around." It made the least sense ever since Popo joined the Super Smash Brothers, but it sounded more complicated than Popo's previous random statements.

"...Are you positive that you weren't born with a defect?" Waluigi stated as he pointed at Popo, his right eye twitching in disgust,

Popo stared at Waluigi, placing his left hand over his mouth as he chuckled in a deep tone of voice. "Ohohoho, Waluigi, you seem to be dismissing my elegant features." He spoke in a British accent, shrugging as he closed his eyes, shaking his head with a disapproving smirk. "Of course, seeing as how you never climbed up high, cold mountains for several long, harsh years it may explain why you don't seem keen on this idea."

Waluigi dropped his arms like anchors as he continued giving Popo the oddest glance he ever gave, "Popo, you're not making any sense at all." Waluigi pointed out the obvious.

Popo placed his hands on his hips as he glared at Waluigi. "And what sense does it make if it is to not make sense, mah boi? Are we nothing but mere illusions casted upon this faint planet, to do nothing but stand and breathe?" He suggested as he stroked his chubby little chin.

Waluigi slapped his forehead as he pulled a frying pan out of his back right overalls pocket, smashing his face with it. "...I gave away all my frickin' free time for this... what have I done...?" He muttered in dismay as he continued smashing his face, obviously not feeling the pain that normally he would and should be feeling from every hard smack.

Popo waved his hands at Waluigi, shaking his head as he dismissed Waluigi's statement. "Nonsense, my chap. After all, by simply increasing the word count with our rather illogical blabber, we are increasing the word count." He then opened his eyes as he placed his left hand on his stomach, laughing with dignity. "And jolly ho, if I do say so myself, we are doing such a splendid job, we may just overall past the two thousand word mark." He sighed heavenly as he closed his eyes, sniffing the fresh air. "Why, I can smell the huge number of words contained in this chapter already." He briefly paused, placing his right index finger on his chin as he had a perplexed look on his kawaii face. "Or... did I just dealt a fart and shook it off like it never happened?"

Waluigi tossed away the frying pan into the depths of the sugary mountain as he continued staring at Popo with a disgruntled face, his arms still side by side like anchors. "Can we please just finish this damn fanfic and go home?"

Popo approached Waluigi and patted the older man on the head, simply shaking his head. "Waluigi, my chap, you must not be so hesitant to rush. Delay does help in crafting perfection."

"This is downright embarrassing." Waluigi simply lamp shaded as he glared at the computer screen.

Popo shook his head in disagreement, scratching his butt with his left hand as he placed his right hand on Waluigi's right shoulder. "But it 'tis be not embarrassing, my fellow comrade, Mr. Waluigi sir. This would be a sensation beyond sensation!" He exclaimed as he opened his arms to the sky.

"...That... doesn't... even... make... sense..." Waluigi remarked as his entire face was literally twitching.

Popo smashed Waluigi in the head with his mallet, shaking his left index finger at Waluigi as he closed his eyes, chuckling.

"Mister Professor Doctor Saint President King Husband Sir Waluigi The Great, mah boi, it seems that you disagree," Popo stated as he dragged the knocked out Waluigi behind him, heading downhill the exterior path extending out of the sugary pink-colored mountain as he stated with glee, "Oh well, I guess it's just a little late to be going out on such a date! Teeheeheeheehee!"

**THE END**

**Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: Actually, I just wanted to add twenty words to this. Because I'm a very very lazy jack ass. Or am I really?**


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